Monday, October 23, 2006
wanna dance in the freedom we know
Taken from Sandra's blog:
"I thought to myself, if truly I am "set free",
why is it that I often find that life leaves me feeling so defeated?
if truly I am loved unceasingly,
why do I find it so hard to likewise love others?
If victory was won at the cross and God says He accepts me just as I am, why am I often feeling like I am not enough in every aspect of Life?
Not good enough a daughter, girlfriend......
to learn that truly the most important acceptance
that I should care for is Yours
and I already have it the day
Jesus stretched out His arms and died for me.
I look at weiyang and most times I feel so bad for failing to be loving, for expectations and for aloofness at times when I just don't feel like it.. I feel small. I feel idealism fading and jadedness settling in. and most of all, I hate expectations. (Aggie: I hate failing to fulfill expectations)
I look at Joshua and I feel so bad for failing to be loving and failing to behave in a Christlike manner. For the aloofness when I feel just don't feel like it too.
I feel the same, Sandra.
and I feel worse when I am faced with questions of
why I am responding the way I am responding....
I really dunno what to say.
I dunno if
we can ever work it out,
I dunno if I will have the perseverance and faith to walk this journey,
if the differences in our personalities can be ironed out,
If I look into too much details and focus too much on the quality,
I dunno if I can stop being too hard on myself and on him,
I dunno if we will be happier without each other
This morning on my way to work, the Lord assured me of my identity in Christ.
That I am who He says I am.
That when He looks at me, I am His beloved
and not who I think I appear to everyone. At that very instant,
I felt loved, free and released.
Thankyou Lord, it means so much to me.
Thankyou Lord for keeping crows out of my way
when I walk to work every morning!
I fight a battle even before my days starts in the office. I am terrified of crows & pigeons... I’m scared of birds, I dun like them either..... :(
Ping ping's baptism and Grace's birthday photos to be up soon! After such heavy posts, I think it should do everyone good to post happy posts! :)
Aggie
ate wrote on 4:53 PM.
